im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Randomize
