Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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