We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
