I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
