it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Randomize
