I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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