keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
