I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
