trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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