but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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