Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
