I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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