these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
