he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Randomize
