office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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