Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
