He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
