I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
