i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
