in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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