I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
