this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
