Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
