So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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