Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
