Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
