so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
