Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
