I should be sponsored by Trojan
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
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