party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
