Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
