I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I think a kid would responsible me up
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
