I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
