Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
