Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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