How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
