adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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