we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
