I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
