he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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