He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
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