I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
