Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
