Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
