Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
