dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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