just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
