K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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