If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
