I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Randomize
