He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
