listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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