...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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