I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
