i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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