I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
