so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
