I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
